Gautami, Kamal Haasan part ways

Chennai: Famous actors Kamal Haasan and Gautami who have been living together since 2005 are no longer partners. In a tweet, Gautami said parting ways with Kamal Haasan has been the most devastating decision of her life. Gautami, a heroine of yesteryear, had made a comeback of sorts with Kamal Haasan in ‘Papanasanam’. Gautami Tadimalla, born in Nidadavolu of West Godavari district in Andhra Pradesh, on July 2, 1968, had acted in a number of Tamil, Telugu, Kannada, Malayalam and Hindi films.

Gautami was a single mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her journey in the last 12 years since the malignancy was detected has been mostly balancing her body and mind. Despite taking cancer treatment, she hasn’t given up acting.

Gautami was a full time mother till her daughter Subbalaxmi was 5, who is now 17 years old.  What’s remarkable about Gautami is she has not lost her graciousness and poise due to the trauma. She has stood as an example among cancer survivors.

Kamal Haasan supported her through the treatment. When she underwent surgery he was with her. The diagnosis came through mammography. She felt a lump in her breast and went to the doctor without any hesitation. “My dad was a radiation oncologist and my mom, a pathologist. We had caught it early and I was young enough to fight it”. Fight she did in a valiant fashion.  Pointing out that Kamal was a great asset during this emotionally wrenching period, she said, ”Really, nobody can carry any of it for you. It’s not like a broken arm. They can just be there and be supportive”. That was what Kamal did.  A lumpectomy, six sessions of chemo, each after a gap of three weeks, 40 cycles of radiation had cured Gautami of cancer.

She has own philosophy of life. She says “one can bend for a friend but should stand up for oneself”. “It is not okay for anyone to inflict hurt on you — physical, mental, emotional. You need to address it when someone is hurting you. In a relationship, the dominant person will dump a lot of crap on you. There is a difference between give and take and between being dumped on …” At this point in time we are left guessing what really went wrong. In spite of her long statement given below, some doubts may be left in our minds. But we can bank on her to clear those doubts since she is a great communicator and honest to the core.

There were rumours that Gautami had issues with Kamal Haasan’s daughter Shruti Haasan. Kamal had earlier married Sarika, a Hindi actor, who parted ways after giving birth to two daughters. Gautami and Kamal have been together ever since. Gautami had taken responsibility for her decision to break the relationship with Kamal.

Here is the full text of the statement released by Gautami on Tuesday:

“It is heartbreaking for me to have to say today that I and Mr. Haasan are no longer together. After almost 13 years together, it has been one of the most devastating decisions that I have ever had to make in my life. It is never easy for anyone in a committed relationship to realise that their paths have irreversibly diverged and that the only choices in front of them are to either compromise with their dreams for life or to accept the truth of their solitude and move ahead. It has taken me a very long time, a couple of years at the very least, to accept this heartbreaking truth and come to this decision.

“It is not my intention to seek sympathy or assign blame. I have understood through my life that change is inevitable and human nature will define that change for each individual. Not all of these changes might be what we expect or anticipate but that does not, in any way, negate the very real impact of these diverging priorities in a relationship. This decision to set forth on my own at this stage in my life is perhaps one of the most difficult decisions any woman will ever have to make but it is a necessary one for me. For I am a mother first and foremost and I have a responsibility to my child to be the best mother that I can be. And to do that, it is essential that I am at peace within myself.

“It is no secret that I have always been a fan of Mr. Haasan’s since before I came to the film industry and I continue to admire and cheer on his monumental talent and achievements. I have stood by him through all his challenges and they have been precious moments for me. I have also learned a great deal from working with him as costume designer on his films and I’m proud that I was able to do justice to his creative vision in those films. Along with all of his accomplishments to date, I know that there is much more to come from him for his audience and I look forward to applauding those successes.

“I would like to say that I am sharing this monumental happening in my life because I have always lived my life in your midst, with dignity and grace to the best of my ability at all times, and all of you have been a part of my life’s journey in so many ways. I have received so much of love and support from you through the past 29 years and I would like to thank you for the many ways in which you kept me going through the darkest and most painful times in my life.”

One can pray for Gautami’s health and hope she would be happy after the break-up.

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