Age of true and lasting love

Lata Jain

So just how common are large age differences between intimate partners? Most people have heard stories of young, attractive women dating or marrying much older men.  Perhaps the most prominent example, Donald Sterling, the billionaire ex-owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, was forced to sell his team after tapes of his racist remarks were reportedly released by his much younger girlfriend V. Stiviano.  Although perhaps one of the more extreme recent cases of large age differences between romantic partners, Sterling is not the only such case.  Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were more than 20 years apart, as are Donald Trump and his wife Melanie.  But are these celebrity couples really that different from the rest of the population?

Recently Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh got married to TV anchor Amrita Rai in Chennai late last month according to sources. The former Madhya Pradesh chief minister is currently in the US. The 68-year-old leader confirmed the wedding with Rai, who is 44.

Would YOU have an age gap romance? As one of the senior congress leader’s ties knot with a media anchor and the age difference is around 24 years-Digvijay singh and Amrita Rai.

Why does age difference among couples shock us?

Older men dating women in their twenties have been happening for centuries. So why do some men and women go for someone much older or younger instead or a person their own age?

Sex therapist Prakash Khanna says it’s a cliché, but age is nothing but a number.

He  explained ‘In case you haven’t noticed, we feel the same as we get older as we did when we were young, on the inside at least – it’s only when we look in the mirror we see the signs of ageing.

‘Psychologically, having a trophy wife on your arm gives the same effect as flash cars and watches – admiration and significance; it’s almost as if having this young partner quantifies how successful they are.’

But although he understands the reasons for wanting a younger woman or man on your arm, Khanna warns that there are several cons to an age gap relationship.

He said: ‘This difference in age creates many problems as interests do change with age, as do energy levels  In course of time the younger partner starts looking for better partners to meet their s sexual satisfaction.. This is not something to be overlooked – sex is key to all successful relationships as it clears blocks and maintains connection.

‘However, if the partners can embrace the differences, then maturity can be a good balance for the immaturity and the youthful enthusiasm can keep the older partner young.’

Renowed Psychologist Mithun Shah says” believes that men aged 20-29 now looking for older women over a younger model is largely down to the change in gender roles in modern society, with far more equality between the sexes nowadays.

He said: ‘Young men nowadays probably recognize that older women are experienced and  adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities like a career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances and socializing. So most of the family responsibilities are taken care by her. Age of true and lasting love does not relate to numbers and material gains.

Despite all the stories we hear about rich old men marrying younger women, we find that marrying a much younger woman is actually just as characteristic of low income men as it is of affluent men.

The stereotype of the rich old man and the attractive young woman is actually relatively uncommon. It may be that the super rich are likely to marry substantially younger spouses.

The potential success of the marriage really does depend upon the maturity and experience level of those who are in love. The simple truth is that, there is no magic age differential when it comes to love and marriage.

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